Won’t someone love me the way I need, desire, crave to be loved? Isn’t there someone out there who fulfills my lists of necessities and requirements? Not ones I have written up, but the ones written on my heart. Has my idealistic nature ruined me?
I think about him all the time. Not in a creepy, visualizing-the-guy-next-door kind of way, but rather I imagine the man I’ll meet that will take my breath away with his kindness. Will honor me with his love. Will lift me up to heights I have not yet known. Will comfort me when my sensitive nature overwhelms me. Will be a father to my children. Will laugh at my idiosyncrasies instead of criticizing them. Do I already know him? Have we talked? Do I have yet to meet him? I often feel as though no one is up to the challenge. To be in a companionship with me. I want a friend. An ally. A fellow revolutionary.
I have been told by many people, even ones I have not physically met, that I have a certain intensity. And I know it. And I love it. Intensity and passion mean life. It also means that I can be hard to handle. But I tell you, I wouldn’t have myself be any other way. And I know that there is a companion out there, waiting for me, that will handle all I am beautifully.