perceptions of immortality

It is so easy for the young ones to be sure about their strong and youthful bodies.  For who can imagine ever growing older, and losing the strength to which we are accustomed?  It is beyond my grasp to ever think that my body will begin to grow weary of a lifetime of supporting my endeavors.  That it will ever limp, or slow down, and possibly twist into grotesque shapes wrought by years of heavy activity, years of living.

But, one day, after you have spent a lifetime stretching, moving, and pushing your body to its extraordinary limits (but are we really limited in any way? We can achieve more than we think possible with our bodies), what will it feel like to wake up and notice that your body does not move with the speed it once did?  To notice aches in places that never ached before?

Now, in this moment, I cannot fathom that my body will ever give out and grow weary.  I am strong in my youthfulness.  With the exception of the circulation in my fingers and toes (Reynaud’s Phenomenon), all works as it should.  My bones withstand the pressures placed on them.  I can move quickly from one speed to another.  I can race down a hill as though running with the deer in the woods.  I can climb, and swim, and fall, and jump…so much can I do with ease.  With the good graces of my body.

I do not believe now in this moment that I will ever not be able to do those things.  But, I look forward to changing with the seasons.   I look forward to falling even more in step with my body, easing into higher awareness of it.  I look forward to seeing the changes that will happen, both to my body and my partner’s. Changing together.  Like the house we will someday have.  A house and land to grow in sync with, to appreciate its own changes, to discover all the idiosyncracies of the land as I work the soil and shape the landscape.  So too will I tune into the wonders of a changing body.

But for now, I enjoy all the pleasures of youthful vitality.  There is no sense in worrying about what your body can’t do, or doesn’t look like.  Appreciate it now for what it is.

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About aletalane

I am a learner.
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