Facebook is, in my opinion, a horrible thing. For me anyway. I understand its special significance as a social connector, but I feel that all it’s done in my life is create a spastic need to put up attractive pictures and witty quotes and thought-provoking status updates. A lot of pressure on a girl if I do say. It has created a need to say ‘hey, look at me. I can have charming and adorable pictures just like you.’ I feel a certain envy when looking through some of my friends’ photos. Envy at wedding pictures (I am not feeling that desire myself quite yet though), envy at beautiful women, envy at road trip pics, any number of other pictures really. Just this morning, I was flipping through someone’s photos I don’t even know. She had beautiful dark hair, large dark eyes and a gorgeous facial structure. And I felt it, that hard feeling of envy situated just below my sternum. It’s a unique emotion, wholly of its own design. And it can be quite cancerous, spreading throughout the rest of my body. This feeling is not what rules my day, but it can rule any certain moment in time. It can lead to destructive thoughts: I am not beautiful enough, witty enough, charming enough.
Now, envy can lead to great things. It can drive a person to work at something they want to achieve- it can lead a person to save money to buy that house, get in shape, dress nicer, study harder to ace those tests, or any number of things. In my case, it can drive me to save up money to buy the land I feel would best support the garden and the home that I imagine in my mind. However, envy has a dark side, which is all too often the side that shows itself in our daily lives. It’s the envy that leads a woman to think that she is ugly, or dumb, or lacks the charm that another woman seems to have. That is not the side of envy that I want showing its face in my life.
This shows me that I have work to do in my own life. How I react to things has everything to do with my own perception of myself and my life, and nothing to do with what it is I am reacting to. So, to that effect, facebook can be a catalyst to delving deeper into my own psyche to work out my thoughts and emotions. There is no reason for me to feel jealousy over another person’s looks, possessions, or anything else. I have a fabulous life- I have a charm, wit, look, and drive all my own. I have a wonderful man who loves me and thinks I am perfect the way I am. I have much to be thankful for, and it does me no good to dwell on that which I do not have. Jealousy has no place in my life. It’s tough though, as we are built to strive and achieve.