I must admit to you all something which has been plaguing me for a little while now. An emotion that has jump-started an existence as an explosion in my chest and my mind and has been fading, but still exists within me.
The emotion is inadequacy. Well, I don’t know if that in itself is an emotion. I suppose the founding emotion would be fear.
I started to get more followers on this blog, which made me very happy. I do like to know that others can connect with what I have to say on various matters. I also linked this blog to facebook which would open the blog up to people that I knew well. However, I know that I am a passionate woman, and I started to be worried that what I would say would be read only to be discarded as inadequate and foolish. I began to envision that people would read my impassioned words and laugh, or think that what I was saying was silly. I even started another blog (mostly just to be able to follow some very inspiring blogs) where I would be able to post true, deeply felt thoughts that no one I knew would read.
But I realized that it would be pointless. Nothing that any person thinks and feels is silly or pointless or inadequate. We all feel what we’re going to feel. Some of us are able to put those feelings to paper (or computer screen) in a way that allows others to connect with them. Some of us express them through song and other forms of art. Some don’t know how to share their most intense thoughts or even tap into them at all.
I love writing my blog and I think it’s good that I feel a shiver run through my stomach when I post something I feel publicly. It allows me to grow in ways I never thought I could grow. Sharing how you feel about something allows the thoughts and emotions to move their way through your being to be released. It is a way of healing.
We all need healing.