Sensitivity. Some of us have more of it than others. Recently, I’ve opened up to the realization that I am one of those people who just seem extra sensitive to the world around them.
I’ve always been aware of my sensitivity, but I never thought of it as a gift, which is something I’ve recently been considering. You know how hard it is to see the gifts that occupy your body and life? Well, others can see them a lot more plainly. And a mentor recently told me that my sensitivity to the world, something I have in abundance, is a gift.
My anxiety and my depression stem from sensitivity. Normal occurances that do not affect most people, such as cutting down a tree, affect me. I can almost feel it as though it were happening to me. I feel the earth’s aliveness. I feel its tenderness. And this sensitive awareness can cause me deep sadness.
And I’ve never thought of it as a gift. Rather, I hated my feminine sensitivity and fought it like I have fought all aspects of my being at one point or another. I thought of it as a weakness. Which it is, unless cultivated and turned into a strength which can nurture the goodness of this planet. I’d like to turn it into a positive awareness of the state of the world. An awareness of certain things that might go unnoticed by others, but an awareness that is crucial to all that is good.
This world needs all the sensitivity that is out there, because we are far too disengaged with what sustains us. Being sensitive, being aware, is a way to re-engage yourself. It is a gift.