What happens when the one you love doesn’t love you back, at least, not in the way you expect or want? What chemical changes occur in your brain, your psyche, your atomic center? For surely something of that magnitude does not leave you unchanged. Maybe you can’t tell, not yet, but you will darling.
It’s easy to just think to yourself that all things happen for a reason and that people are placed in your path for a purpose. But what if you have inside you this giant supernova lovebomb and half of it (your half) is saying yes, yes, YES and the other half just… isn’t ready? Can you sit there with your legs crossed, hands quietly folded in your lap, and just think that it’s all part of some divine plan?
Divine plan or not, if I could, I would tell the moon to stop it’s heavenly pilgrimage across the night sky. I would order the tides to stop ebbing and keep the sun from rising to caress the edge of the mountains.
Just until I get some answers.
I would ask, “how can you not FEEL this?” And I would take your hand and place it upon my wildly beating heart. There, can you feel that pounding? This is the force of the tides I am holding back. I would then place your hand on my smooth stomach. Here is contained the desire of the moon as she sighs, hovering with all of her luminous self, curtained by celestial bodies she can see but never touch. Next I would have you touch my lips with your [electric] fingertips and I would tell you that my lips burn with the passion of the sun, who waits to greet the edge of the sea with a kiss.
I ask you now, can you still say that my love is unreturned? If it is true, and you feel you must reject my love until you are ready, just know that I will wait.
Forever I will wait.
I will come back to this space again and again, infinitely again until you can sink into it with me. And when you arrive, I will look at you and take your hand. I will have no need to tell you that I’ve been waiting, because you know. Your eyes will reveal to me that the lull of the tides pushed you toward me. But you were not ready. Every time the moon hid her face and wept, you felt it in your heart. But you were not ready. And every time you watched the sun come up in praise of the morning, you knew. But you were not ready. Still you are not ready. But when you are, I will be here. And when we meet in this space that I’ve held, then the real loving can begin.